I’m so pleased you’re here, thank you for taking the time to stop by.
So, I’ll get right to it as I’m sure your quite busy. I’ll start will the essentials and then you decide if you want to carry on reading about my funny little life.
I’m 38, excited about my 40’s and the new adventure I will have but now it will be with a more laid back, give less f&*ks attitude about the whole situation.
I live between Wiltshire and North Devon and if I’m not doing yoga then I’m surfing. I love the sea, it makes every once of my being so incredibly happy, sitting out back in the surf looking back at my favourite place just gives me so much joy. If I’m not on the sea then I like to be in the sea, I take every opportunity to snorkel, free dive or scuba dive that I can.
My friends and family make all life so much sweeter and I love them all dearly.
I am a vegetarian and also gluten and lactose-free. I love Asian cooking best and of course PIZZA!
I love the colour green, it soothes my soul.
Plastic makes me sad.
So that’s the cliff notes…..
If you’re still reading you must be ready for the full story……
I was born in North Devon and in a random turn of events, the day after I arrived into the world, an escaped arsonist decided to burn down my parents’ launderette and home while everyone was busy visiting me in hospital.
It changed the course of my very young life from day one. As a result of that, some, bad luck and a few pretty hard recessions it caused us as a family to move A LOT. This I guess, is where my nomadic wanderlust came from. For most of my life, I have found security in the impermanence of things and great discomfort in being still. Last time I counted I had moved home 41 times. Like most life experiences it was a double-edged sword.
Over time I have found joy in being settled, which I didn’t get to experience until my mid 30’s. I have found myself being content with doing less and finding stillness, it’s quite liberating not to have to always be doing.
However, my burning desire to travel will never diminish, in fact, I write this right now from the French Alps at the end of our winter season. Over the years I have travelled around the world including Australia, Japan, Malaysia, Indonesia and a good portion of Europe. Highlights for me were Bali, The Gili Islands, Mt Fuji and Greece.
As mentioned I do like to partake in a winter season, I love snowboarding and have now done 6 winters in St Anton, Morzine, La Plagne and La Rosiere. My love of being on a board and also being in the sea naturally lead to my love of surfing, I just can’t get enough of it. Nothing in the world is better than flying down a glassy clean wave then jumping off and paddling back out to do it all over again just for those 20 seconds of exquisite bliss. It is the most exhilarating and simultaneously frustrating pastime I have ever done, I would highly recommend it.
So, the reason we are all here Yoga! It was a gradual integration into my life. It should have been something I just jumped on straight away, despite quite a Christian upbringing I have always liked to question stuff and make up my own mind on things.
From my late teens I have always enjoyed a more alternative lifestyle, I felt naturally attracted to Pagan philosophies and the awareness of the earth and ourselves in it. So I’m not sure why at that point I wasn’t like ahhh, yoga, that makes perfect sense. Instead, I kept it at arm’s length, I did a few classes now and then but I always favoured Pilates instead.
It wasn’t until about 6 years ago when I couldn’t afford my Pilates lessons anymore and couldn’t find a good substitute online that I turned to Yoga. There are so many amazing online teachers I had the world (of Yoga) at my fingertips, and after about a month I was completely hooked!
Since then I have kept a daily practice, with asana at least 5 days a week. As my practice evolved I have developed sadhana rituals I like to keep. Yoga completely changed every aspect of my life (so said every yogi ever) it changed everything. These changes might not be visible on the surface, they are not really changes you can see, although I have abs now (in the right lighting) and my triceps are ripped (but again you can’t really see those being such tiny muscles) The changes I am talking about are internal, the way I see myself, the way I feel about who I am and what my purpose is.
So full disclosure here, I struggled, a lot, between my mid-teens and late twenties. I will share this because I am cultivating a space of honesty and I have always promised to be authentic with you guys, so I know you won’t judge.
I have had an interesting journey with mental health, the fact that I feel this is a dark secret to share shows still hows much mental health is a taboo subject. There isn’t a person in this world that hasn’t got a story of their own either through direct experience or because of a loved one. It’s just one of those things, it gets us all at some point.
I was always an ‘I wear my heart on my sleeve’ kind of girl and that was massively taken advantage of both with so-called friends and abusive partners. Young me was naive and always saw the best in everyone and in every situation. Those qualities have never left but as the woman I am today I am aware of how and where I spend my energy. The mid-stage of this process, however, was a very shut off, guarded person who was lonely and very insecure about who she was.
Young me battled with self-harm early on and struggled through a lonely and secret 10-year journey of eating disorders including; anorexia, bulimia and laxative abuse. This all paved the way for a yoyo party lifestyle, altogether waaaay too much alcohol and a lot of self-deprecating behaviour.
There we a few years of clarity between various cycles of depression but overall, she was very insecure and looked to those around her for validation about who she was. Unfortunately with things the way they were, she only attracted those that were also hurting and feeling broken which ended in some pretty terrible relationships choices.
It wasn’t until my 30’s that I had a bit of a wake-up call. After yet another horrid relationship and another bloody hangover, enough was enough. I went and did my second snowboard season and got it out of my system, this did involve a lot more drinking into obliteration but little by little I was becoming less dependant on pick me ups and I started to experience living and having good people around me. I decided to go travelling again after my season and I had a chance to take a long hard look at what I was doing.
After returning back and as I mentioned not being able to afford Pilates, yoga came to me at just the right time. I was at the crest of a wave and it could have all crumbled underneath me but I decided to see it through. I cut everything that no longer served me from my life, I found a little stability, stopped moving around, found a good job with good people and started to work on me. Who was I any more? What did I like? Who am I when I am stripped of all the crutches I use to keep me afloat.
Turns out, I am me, I am just exactly the same person but now I don’t care how others see me anymore and I don’t ask others to validate me and I have strong purpose and meaning.
I have so much gratitude for my wonderful loving family, my ever-supportive, caring partner and my bestie that has worked tirelessly behind the scenes to always help me when I was ‘twirly’ and just the best bunch of friends anyone could ask for.
As anyone who has suffered with their mental health will know, the struggles you had never completely leave you. There is no ‘fixed’, instead, you learn how to manage things, you understand your triggers and know what to do when they happen. Little by little things calm and the issues you used to deal with daily melt into the background of life. Someways however when you are tired and worn out something may cause you to be triggered, but you realise its happening and choose not to spiral into old patterns.
Now I love food and have a never-ending passion to create in the kitchen, I even turned my obsession about it into a career for while but that is all a story for another day. I surf and do stuff outside that makes my soul sing, I look after my body and eat things that nourish me. I never drink if I’m sad, and I hardly drink if I’m happy. Life is balanced with just a little bit of everything and that goes to keep the delicate equilibrium inside perfectly balanced.
I’m ok with all that has gone before as it has shaped me to become the person I am today and I am happy with who I am. I believe in a guiding hand that I know will never let me fall. I know I am exactly where I am supposed to be, the journey of my life is perfectly timed and unfurling in front of me in.
Now I am in a position where I can share the thing that has been the catalyst in bringing about so much change in my life. Yoga has taught me to breathe, it has taught me to be still even when my life feels like a storm. It has taught me to ground and to look inside for answers, my self-worth and my strength.
Yoga has been a guide to remembering who I already was before I forgot. My unique life experiences have left me in the position of being able to share with you the different tools that I have learnt. I hope to inspire in you a way to cultivate any change you want to implement in your own life.
It would be my great pleasure to be able to guide you in discovering all the joy yoga has to offer, and if all that ‘stuff’ is not for you I can definitely help you on the ab front.
I wanted a way to bring yoga to as many people as I could so teaching online was the perfect answer. Plus you can take me with you wherever you go, I’ll be there whenever you need, in good times and in bad, to hold space for you while you discover your own journey with yoga and unveil this magical world.